‘‘Yeah, so who is this bloke really, like deep down?”
He grew up in Mother Adelaide, in the same corner of suburbia as the Hilltop Hoods. ‘BilloceRaptor’, as he was known among his rapping contemporaries, could have followed their path to hip hop stardom. He instead took the road less travelled on a gap year that became a gap life. Bill actively avoided responsibility for years living predominantly illegally overseas, and has worn everything from a chef’s hat to a gimp mask to earn a crust. He can now get drunk in several languages and has well over 17 interesting facebook photos to show for it.
At some stage along the way, he found a pub that let him speak into a microphone without musical accompaniment, and he liked that so he kept doing it. Bill has since performed stand-up in Canada, The United States, The United Kingdom, Luxembourg, Australia, and to over 1000 of the drunkest, most unintelligibly belligerent humans on earth at Oktoberfest in Munich. His Edinburgh fringe debut saw him earn rave reviews whilst he slept in a soaking tent next to the mould ridden death-trap of a van he purchased as accommodation.
He wasted years becoming an up-and-coming darling of the London comedy circuit until a well known plague forced him to flee to the tender bosom of Adelaide. ‘I don’t need to build an online presence’. He would say, naively. ‘Things are going well. I’m going to be like Daniel Kitson’.
‘Who?’ People would say.
Because of this, you can now find Bill making up for lost time creating instagram videos in the death throes of that app’s relevance before he makes his triumphant Tik Tok debut in 2022, just in time for that to become passee.
Bob Hawke once told Bill he could be Prime Minister if he wanted to. He doesn’t.